It's All Perception

Having no real burning issue that warrants a blog, I searched within me for what issues I have become so accustomed to that they don’t burn anymore? Retracing my activities this day, I found a great deal of issues that could have sparked a real disclosure and maybe even help someone to get onboard with the likes of me. What am I like? LOL! Those that love me, truly love me….but those that don’t, won’t even consider it! Not my words, but words put on me by someone I tried to influence many years ago. Neither here nor there.

Here is a drill to do. Only if you want to find out just how habituated you really are. Only if you want to find out just how lacking your life may be in living the excitement of Torah. Yeah, I said it. When we begin to feel as though we have this Torah thing down pat, YHVH Elohim has another surprise for the party!

{Side bar: several years ago a young lady who worked in our office told me she couldn’t come to the Shul. Said it would violate her faith and religion. So, being the “who I am”, I told her that if her faith was strong and her religion was without doubt in her heart, she could go to the depths of the despicable and feel safe and secure. At least six months later, without ever another word spoken on the subject, she came for a ‘tour’ of the Sanctuary. Thank you Abba!}

Here’s the drill; You must plan this out and don’t look back: “tomorrow” (any tomorrow you choose) whatever you do, do it different. From the moment you wake up to the moment you retire to bed at the end of the day. Some examples: in the shower; if you start with your right arm, shift it…start with your left arm… instead of shower, run a bath; shift hands with everything you do all day long. Put your pants/skirt on first? Don’t! Put on your shirt/blouse first. Put your right arm in the sleeve first? Not today; put your left arm in the sleeve. Save your usual breakfast for supper, and enjoy your supper now. (BTW there is no such thing as Torah mandated breakfast food… sorry, just had to mention it.) Instead of going to the right when you go out the driveway, go to the left. Don’t read the paper until noon. Whatever you do, stop and do it a bit different. Get the feeling of disconnection from your environment. Get the feeling of not being of this world! If you carry your Bible with you every day, leave it at home. If you leave it at home every day, bring it with you. If you speak with verbosity, attempt to speak with brevity. Be brief, concise and to the point. Make it a point to say Hello to ten people you have never met! So what if they don’t answer, you are doing this for you, not them. Did you know that when we wave to someone ‘from across the way’, we are letting them know that we see them and we want them to see us. It’s like, I see you, do you see me? Please wave, I need your approval for me to be here now. In other words, approach yourself differently. Think of yourself differently! Smile, if you love you. Remember, we are told to love our neighbor as our self. If we can’t smile to our self, how will we ever smile to someone else? This gives greater insight to you about you. This will, without you even trying, increase your awareness of Torah and the simplicity that Torah can have in our lives.

Look at what is happening in your little corner of the world. There is famine, flood, fire, earthquake, freeze, burning, etc. How we respond to it depends on how we respond to our selves. Take this sad example. You pick up a paper or hear a news headline about a school bus accident in a town 2500 miles away from you; several students were killed. For most, this makes for sad reading. What if you pick up the paper or hear the headline about a school bus accident four blocks from your house? And several students were killed? Does this change the strength of the emotions? Why is it the closer to home the more emotional impact? For me, we should have the same response cognitively no matter where or who. But we are human. Torah teaches us that at all times and in all places we are to put YHVH first. He will direct us and guide us. He will comfort us as well as discipline us. He will respond the same to us whether we are distant from Him or sitting in His lap. As long as He knows we love Him and want Him in our lives. He will show us the way. We can do things very different than everyone else and still be the apple of His eye. He really doesn’t get too excited, I don’t think, if we put the shirt on with right arm or left arm first. What He does get excited about, is how we put His Torah on. He has provided, let us dress the part.

I have really gone off course with the burning issues thingie…. But here is what started it all. With all that is happening in this world, let us remember that our Heavenly Father created everything which we hold near and dear. In the same light, He created that which we may find fault with. Criticizing Him does no one any good.

The above ‘picture message’ basically says it all. When we perceive our surroundings negatively, we become negative. Yes, there are days that just aren’t as good as other days… but when was the last time you heard anyone complain that things are just too good? When we are having a great day that is the day to praise the Father. When we are having a day that is not so good, that too is a day we praise the Father. All days are His days; we just happen to be invited to share. 

 

Most merciful and loving YHVH, Abba, our Father; thank you for each and every day. You have made my life such a delight! The frustrations I feel aren’t like the frustrations of old, when I was trying so hard to be so great. My frustrations come and soon subside as I strive to be righteous in Your eyes. I find myself overstepping. I know I must let go of it all and trust in You. I am fully aware that You do not need help in raising me. I believe that all you want of me is to just listen and obey You. Help me to focus only on You and not be caught up in the worldly things. Father, please help me not to go back into those days of despair and fret. Continue to remind me that I am a guest in Your house. I want to follow the rules You have placed for everyone under Your roof. Your roof, Your rules! Father, I will praise you every day. Each day is special and I thank You for creating them all. What would my life be like with just one day missing? Thank You, in Yeshua’s mighty name, Amein!

Shalom, shalom

Pinchas

aka Frankly Speaking All the Time

Let This Be The Day

The time is getting closer for me to return to some semblance of normalcy. For nine months I have been the follower, not the leader; not even the doer. This has been a good challenge and I have learned a great deal about humankind. There was a brief period where I felt as though YHVH really had me going on a good track and I guess I got a little puffed up without realizing it. Then last week came.

It was as though I had just finished my dissertation after much research and study. Now the final exam, which will be a breeze with so much introspection as to who I really am. This past Thursday at eleven we (Yocheved and I) arrived at the Cath Lab for what was supposed to be a straight forward procedure. I kept telling myself that it would be a onetime shot and no complications. The right leg didn’t have all the problems as the left.

Was delighted to see so many familiar faces… I haven’t been in this lab since December. All the other times it was being renovated and modernized. So “we” used the Lab at the hospital….that is what they told me. They also were/are well aware of my aversion to hospitals. I have nothing against them. I used to work in them. I just had never been a patient until last year [that seems so long ago]. Anyhow, it was a joy to see so many loving and caring staffers from the surgeons to the young men keeping the floors clean and safe. They all greeted us and exchanged “how-dee-do’s”. Into my crib I am directed…”You know the drill…nothing on but the backwards gown. The doctor will be seeing you before we take you in” No need explaining the next steps…it is so informal with so many lined up for ‘routine’ procedures.

A quarter to twelve came…appointment was for eleven…unusual…they run a smooth and tight ship here…where is my doctor? Finally a male nurse, whom I had not met prior, informed us that “they” were running just a bit behind but it won’t be long. Another fifteen minutes or so and he returned with another form…Would I consent to having students present during my procedure? Of course I would consent. I want more surgeons to be as good as the three who have run the angioplasty on me. This was not the first time I have been asked to let others in. If you remember back, they brought in a team from South Florida to observe and process because “they” said “this is very rare for both extremities to occlude simultaneously and from the same place of origin”. Wow! Talk about set apart!

The time is ticking. I positioned myself with my back to the clock so as not to watch…this permitted me to sit up but also placed my back to my wife which bothered me. Apparently not as much as seeing the clock tick. The surgeon came by and it was uplifting to see him. He is always so cheerful and you would think we had been friends for years and years. He explained that “they” were moving the faster procedures ahead so “they” could afford me more time and not be rushed. I reminded him of my lifelong desire to never be the first one in the chair nor the last one out. (Dad taught me that about barbershops) Doc assured me that all would be fine. He explained exactly what he proposed to do and made sure I understood before we began. So, it is more than just a simple, lets get it over with procedure. The process will be a learning experience for a lot of us.

 

I won’t be satisfied with just another day
Another dance around the outer court
I Don’t want to be the same
when this song is over
I know my heart must change

Loud and very clear the words of Aline’s song “Let This Be The Day” started in my head. I love that song – but why now? It was when I got to the chorus that I was so glad Yocheved couldn’t see my face. I was falling apart on the side of the gurney. What do I do? I don’t want her to see me like this. She doesn’t need another worry. Sh’ma Israel…YHVH Eloheinu… YHVH echad…. Yeah, say the Sh’ma over and over. Get control. Face the Father. He has brought you all this way. Don’t loose sight of Him. But that is just what I was asking….

Let this be the day, That I see your face
Let this be the day, Let this be the day
When even cedars fall
Before your face, O God
Let this be the day

The song was running as the Sh’ma was echoing. Then “they” showed up…about three o’clock…I can walk…let me walk into the lab please….My favorite male nurse permitted me…he was with me through it all before…has a great attitude…and we were joined with the entire team… all of them that were there before are there now…so glad the ARNP who kept me from bleeding out was there…she said she wouldn’t miss this one…. Sh’ma Israel….

Kissed my wife and told her I would be back….song in my head… Let this be the day I see Your face…. Oh my sweet Savior…if this is the day I see Your face does it mean I won’t see my greatest caregiver and home health aide again? Oh God what do I do… the guilt is taking hold and the apprehension is bordering on fear…. Fear not! I haven’t given you a spirit of fear….Help me Yeshua! I am not afraid… I just don’t want to go to the hospital… please guide them as they take control over my physical life…. Let this be the day that I don’t have to go through this again. I am so tired of it. 

 

What a beautiful new facility! “Oh I thought you had a procedure in February when we opened” No, I ended up in the hospital…I was two days early for the opening and spent four days in hospital receiving blood and recouping. Two surgeons are now speaking with me. Interested in seeing the amputation and checking blood flow before proceeding… then quite a few people arrived. Some, I was told, owned the equipment that was being used. I told them I bought some of it. “They” said there would be a gold name plate one day.

The slab was very narrow; I assured my balance with my elbows on removable arm rests….I admired the new flat screens instead of the huge monitors from ancient times. The prep completed, I am covered from head to foot with a plastic-like sheeting elevated six inches above me…a tent “they” called it… with clear plastic along the sides so I could see out if I wanted to but couldn’t see up. Doc asked me if I was ready…. Yes sir…lets get this show on the road…. “Do you need anything for relaxing?” Have you read my BP? “Yeah..right on track – you’re at 181 now..” I laughed…”WCS” White Cath Syndrome! Take me to La-la land but make it for a fast recovery please. “Done. Let me know if it is not enough” And that is how it was for the next three hours…don’t move, don’t flinch, don’t blink or we take you out….watch the monitors if you like. I did.

So I will wait for you
however long it takes
Pour out my heart to you and sing
How can I stay the same
when I behold my King
I know my heart must change

“Okay Mr B… you did great” With those words I knew it was over. I even thought about writing down all the jokes I heard while they were working then waiting…working then waiting…the entire procedure turned out different coming out than it was planned going in. Sh’ma Israel! Father, I won’t say I saw Your face…but I felt you so near….the operation required no stents…the arteries opened under the pressure of the blood…from mid-calf to the toes. The trash was removed with little harm and the overflow of blood was not that great. 

 

Leave no stone unturned, no hard heart unbroken
For all that stand before you are in need
Who can stand O Lord,
in your awesome Glory
I know our hearts must change

Let this be the day, That I see your face

Before your face, O God
Let this be the day

This is not the end of the journey, only the beginning. There is much recovery to accomplish. Plus, I have volunteered to participate in research for such a time as this; Shehechianu! This is the last I will write on this subject. It is too personal and painful. I only wanted to share the conflicting thoughts that may face us when we are close to seeing His face, for whatever reason.

YHVH, our Father in heaven, You and You alone make caterpillars turn into butterflies…just as the caterpillar must die unto itself to become born again in the beauty of Your Holiness, we too must die unto ourselves to appreciate the beauty of Your Holiness. Thank you for having a hand on the instruments and for gifting those who truly care for others. Father, thank you so very much for the medical team that honors You with prayer and thanks. You placed me in the right place and girded my loins with the best of the fruit. Todah Rabah, Amein. In Mashiach Yeshua’s name, Amein and Amein!

Shalom and Shalom, with love, 

Pinchas, 

aka Frankly speaking all the time. 

 

Foot note: “Let This Be The Day”, Into the Deep, Aline and Howie Wrds: Aline B. George 

http://www.mishkanim.com/ 

c. 2011 Hebrew Roots Music A note from Aline: this song was written in about 10 minutes! during an intense time of seeking after Messiah, watching others give their time and energy to so many other things.

Once I Was Blind

Hanok 83:8, 9 “And now, my son, arise and make petition to hvhy of esteem, since you are a believer, that a remnant may remain on the earth, and that He may not destroy the whole earth. 9 “My son, from the Shamayim all this will come upon the earth, and upon the earth there will be great destruction.”

I have no idea where I am going with this. I just know that I was “browsing” in the Book of Hanok and read the above two passages and they grabbed at me. If I am correct, Methuselah was having a vision in a dream about the heavens coming down and destroying the earth. When he was awakened because of the noise and restlessness he was exhibiting, he was told that because he was a believer that he was to pray to YHVH to spare a remnant and not destroy the whole earth.

So, the prophecy happened and Methuselah was the last righteous man standing.

Now, I have no intention of ‘teaching’ Scripture here…so I have not dug into the history books to ensure correctness. The intent here is to find just where I am in my relationship with my Father. Having been down this path many times, I have come to believe that my journey to find where I am in my relationship with the Almighty is not the direction I should be in. What if I shifted my thinking and took a different tack. Instead of trying to ascertain where I am in relationship with my Father, I maybe should be trying to establish where my Father is in relationship with me. That would mean I would benefit spending my time getting to know Him even more. It is not where I am, it is where He is that counts.

From the above passage I learn that when the heavens come down they can destroy the earth completely should it be the Father’s will. I have previously learned and fully believe that YHVH keeps the universe together. Should He change His mind, it is over…gone…finished! I also have read that He would not flood the entire earth again. However, I have read that He will take parts…little by little unless we shape up. The operative statement is unless we shape up. So how will it happen? How will He destroy the earth and it’s civilization and still keep His word that it won’t be a flooding with a half dozen or so survivors?

 

Last summer Yocheved and I took our grandson to the Edison Museum and investigated all that he ‘created’. He, Thomas Edison, is no longer with us but his inventions are in use today. Edison had a willing heart to create implements that would benefit mankind. He was successful, however, he had no control over them once they were completed and marketed. His ‘will’ departed when he departed. So his inventions will depart at some point in time but no later than the end of the earth as we know it.

Our Father’s willing heart created the earth and everything within it. He created the universe and all that we can see. Through the will of the Father, it is all in existence today. Should YHVH Elohim decide He has had enough, that we have taken too long to shape up, then he can will the heavens to fall upon us in a fiery ball. In a flash it would be over as we know it. Will the prophecy of Methuselah hold true? Will the Father hear his prayer and let a remnant remain one more time? Was the Noach experience enough for our Savior to say, we just aren’t worth it? Has He done more than any parent would for a wayward child? What if it was us and our children? How would we feel? How much patience does it take before we realize we must love them enough to let them go? 

 

Think long and hard about this: When Divine Will ceases, the object of His will also ceases. I believe for the time being, it is the Father’s will for the universe to stay in rhythm. When His will to maintain and ensure existence continues, we continue. Should His will cease to exist, we cease to exist. 

 

Just something to think about…that’s all. For years I have been following the crowd and spending my energies focusing on Mashiach’s return. The great Wedding day. Oh yes, I want for that day. Let’s just don’t lose sight that unless He is satisfied with the order of things, it could end before we know it. I know that the Word outlines specifics about the thousand year reign and all. I also know that there is Word saying ‘narrow is the gate’. 

 

Please Father, continue to direct us and guide us. You are the Almighty God, the true Elohim, the Creator of Heaven and Earth… without You we are nothing. Please, I beg, accept me as a Believer; leave a parcel of land for me to care for. Please let there be others, even if only a remnant, to recapture the Land and toil it as You have always wanted. Father, we are slow to learn and for that we beg Your forgiveness. Should You deem us worthy, please don’t let your fire reign down on us. Permit us to honor you with good deeds. Abba, we are aware that You and only You have the will to keep us alive. I pray with my heart to be deemed righteous and left standing to serve you to the bitter end. Just as Yeshua is The Messiah, and the sun shines by Your command and will, we love You and cherish the day that You find us worthy to see Your face. Amein!

Shalom, Shalom --

Pinchas

aka Frankly Speaking All the Time