It's a Small World After All

I need to write a blog.   I want to write a blog like in the days gone by.  A blog about what happens along the path to seeing His face.  That would be easy to do if I would just sit down, think, and get the fingers moving.  The events of the last few weeks or even months for that matter, have been astounding.  Details aren't necessary.  What is necessary is for me to realize that I have the ability to see both sides of the coin.  My Creator instilled this in me, as He has done for everyone.

One side of the coin says:  Everything is so negative and controversial.  There is no reason to get involved and therefore a blog is a waste of time. The other side of the same coin says; Stop focusing on the differences and relish in the similarities. Stay involved and keep seeing the light.  Speak up and make sure your words are accurate; by accurate I mean make sure they edify and not destroy.  The tongue is very powerful.

Okay - done.  So what is the problem?  What stops me from just spitting out a nice, uplifting, succinct blog about the joy of being alive?  I will tell you so that you won't have to go there - it is the other side of the coin that stops me.   It seems to be far easier to focus on the negative than rejoice in the positive!

So, for the last couple of weeks I have searched within me to find out why.  Why do I permit myself to wander from the uplifting and focus on the degrading?  Could it be that I just can't be as happy and grateful as I present myself?  Or is it that I am not truly full of joy and gratitude? For me, that answer comes back as neither answer is correct.  But now, I have an answer and I can't get it out of my head. So, it must be valid and I must not like it for I do not want to accept it.

Focusing on the negative aspects of the world around me gives me hope of a larger and more inclusive world than when I focus on the positive attributes of the world I live in.  This may not make sense to most people, but it does make sense to me and I can' seem to shake it.  The larger world is very negative.  It is full of lies and distortions.  It is supported by untruths and fed by not so truthful persons. When I crawl into my cocoon of holiness that protects me, it gives me feelings of great joy. Then my world becomes very small.  

The positive world is very small compared to the negative.  Sometimes I look around and I wonder how can so many people be so miserable and yet profess to be Torah compliant? My world becomes smaller.  How can someone sit around and talk about people who are not present, yet profess to know all the facts about something or someone they have no idea what they are talking about?  How can I get caught up in the conversation attempting to correct the wrong and be so completely misunderstood?  What stops me from walking away?  My world continues to get smaller.

Truth be known, I am tired of the charade.  Doesn't matter who's playing the game.  Whatever happened to just a cheerful conversation?  What stops us from communicating deep thoughts with one another without fear of rejection?  Why can't we just do what the Word says; Love your neighbor as yourself and let your yea's be yea's and your nays be nays? 

How come when we have differences of opinion, we don't confront our brothers plainly before we rally support from the negative people around us?  I give up!  The more I strive to be straight up and honest, the smaller my world gets.  It seems my friends just don't want to hear me out.  And when they won't hear me out how can they help me to understand that I may be distorted in my thinking? Friends don't let friends read Torah with a negative attitude!  I read a similar story in the Bible.  Makes me wonder, will I one day ask my Heavenly Father why am I the only one left?

Abba, my Father - You can straighten out my thinking if You want to.  You can keep me on the correct path and headed for the right gate, if You want to.  I wait patiently, most of the time, to hear from You. Now that I have learned that I hear best when I am not speaking, I have become more silent in the past couple of months.  Father, help me to explain to others that this is a 'me' thing for You; nothing against them and they need not worry.  While You are at it Father, please shine a little light on them before they turn their backs on me and my world gets even smaller.  In Y'shua's name I ask You, Amein.


Shalom and shalom, 
Pinchas, 
a/k/a Frankly speaking all the time.