There is so much that I want to say but when I start to put it to paper it all seems so limited! It seems so nasal! It seems to be empty of emotion and devoid of meaning when I read it from the page…but if you could be here right now you would be able to witness the array of emotions I am experiencing as I try deep within me to say more than “Thank you”!
This is the week when most people in this country, focus on Thanksgiving… when we give Thanks to YHVH for all the blessings He has bestowed on us. Hold on; read that last sentence again….when we give thanks to YHVH for all the blessings He has bestowed on us. What a misguided statement that is. Can you see now why I am having difficulties writing a simple little blog to say thank you to all of you for your prayers and concerns during the past few weeks. Please don’t stop…prayers work.
But back to the “Hold on….” Statement. This time of the year most people focus on giving thanks to the Father for all the blessings…we should be giving thanks to Him daily. Setting aside one day a year for family and friends to get together to give thanks really insults the One doing the blessing! Our Father deserves more. He is the One giving the Blessings! Nothing comes from us or from any man. On top of that, pausing one day out of the year to thank family and friends for all they do and their constant love and devotion is also insulting. Let us thank everyone everyday for everything and remind one another that YHVH T’Zvaot makes it all possible.
By now you all probably know about the situation I am having with my foot and legs. These past few weeks have been very testing. This testing has sparked a part of me that I thought existed but was not aware of the full extent of it. Until we have been subjected to the test, we don’t know if we have the correct answer. While the test is being administered, the teacher is not speaking. The speaking has been done. It is time to now check within ourselves if we have the answer the teacher is looking for. Our Heavenly Father is a fantastic teacher. He is guiding me daily and I praise Him for guiding me. This little trip is different than all others I have been on. I know where I want to go but a map is not available…and the Teacher is not giving me more than what I need at any given moment. I am dependent upon The Great GPS (God’s Positioning System – Torah!) to guide me.
[as an aside: a friend was speaking with me the other day about my physical situation. She began to tell me of an incident she had when her son was a teenager. He tore the Achilles tendon from the bone in a sports incident…during the recovery process her son told her one night that he didn’t know how much more recovery time he can manage…the pain was tremendous…the Mom asked him if he had been praying…his response was of course I have been praying….she then asked if he prayed recently for tolerance…and his answer was yes. She then told him that his prayers were being answered….he stared at her with a lost look….she reminded him that YHVH is the great teacher and uses all opportunities to teach us…and by teaching us, He answers prayers. She also reminded him to use caution in what he prays for…YHVH does not send an advance copy of the lesson plan……]
Anyhow, I am learning a lot from all this and have surprised myself at how accepting I am of it all. The humbling part for me is the massive response Yocheved and I have received from all of you. Our Mishp’kha is truly hand picked by YHVH. There is nothing more shocking than going from a hundred miles an hour with nothing but “youth” in your sails to coming to an almost complete stop and the wind run out. I was so concerned with who is going to keep things in order and how will they know this and know that? I was told by several in the Congregation to sit down, shut up and get well. What an awesome undertaking. Things are being taken care of that I even forgot about. Then we realized that this all happened within the week of Sukkot and there was no forewarning. .. like a light switch flipped…from fully functional and no history of poor or degraded health to a full stop…the legs just stopped working! (I won’t go into that again..) Suffice it to say, the Shul will run just fine whether I am there or not…. I do miss being there but I rest a bit easier knowing that we serve the Father, not man, and this ensures that the Father’s Word continues to go forward. Please forgive me one and all for even having a fleeting thought that it would be otherwise. So easy to fall back on old attitudes, values and beliefs.
I love you one and all, thank you for caring and know that our Father is smiling and preparing another lesson plan. Be ready!
Shalom, shalom
Pinchas a/k/a Frankly Speaking all the time
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