Taking the "I" Out Of Me

We focus intently on what Torah says so as not to violate Torah, but sometimes, we overlook some things that are “permissible”  yet are worse than violating Torah. Torah encourages us to seek the truth of the Word and everyone’s word who speaks up for Torah.  We are permitted to disagree and openly discuss various concepts that may be disputed or in error by the Torah teachers. [Know more than the Torah teachers, especially since some are false prophets.] Yet, the Talmud teaches that “one who disagrees with, argues with, complains against, or suspects his rabbi is considered to be exhibiting”  sins considered more severe than sins that are explicit in Torah (from Aish.com Clinging to the Light).  This is what Korach did to muster up the 250 or so leaders to rise up against Moshe.

This ‘walking the fine line’ behavior sometimes can result in very strong discussions that stray from M’d’rash to outright argument.  This is the behavior that is witnessed by many who come to believe that all they do is argue!  And they, the witnesses, are not wrong!  The reason we study Torah, above all else, is to come closer with our Creator.  The closer we come, the more in step we must be.  Otherwise, He will wait to reveal more of himself until we reveal less of our self. When I speak of “self”, I speak of the sum total of my life’s experiences.  Everything that is within me.  All that is necessary for me to be in this moment.  Not balanced by good or bad, but balanced by each occurrence in my life that got me here.  Recognizing where I want to go, ie. to see the Face of YHVH, I realize that all future occurrences in my life, must be in alignment with what He wants.  I can no longer do what I want to do if I truly desire to reach my goal.  I must realize that I really have never done just what I want to do. I have followed guidelines from somewhere or someone other than my “self” ... even the dark moments.

We set goals for ourselves and from that, we chart the various steps we must take to achieve that goal. A simple example: Say we want to obtain employment as a jet engine mechanic. My goal: jet engine mechanic. I have no earthly idea how to fix or maintain a jet engine. I realize I must go to school.  The school has certain requirements for entry. I now establish sub-goals.  I must do everything required for entry into school. Upon graduation I may be required to be certified or licensed. More sub-goals to becoming a jet engine mechanic. You are probably getting the picture.  We are doing what we believe is our choice in all these sub-goals to reach the major goal of being a ‘mech’.  But reality is, we do what we do because someone else established the criteria for us to achieve our dream job.  This is not different in our goal of seeking His Face.  Someone else is directing each step.  The more steps we take by His direction, the closer we come to the ultimate goal.  The less we see of us, the more we see of Him.

Many years ago when I was busy achieving my goals, I took a course on self-actualization. Very interesting experience.  I felt like a phony beyond phonies but I had to make a super grade to move on to the next step. So I endured.  Little did I know that this was directed by my Heavenly Father for such a time as now.  I had to learn all I could about my “self” so that in my acquisition of my final goal, I would not be shocked, shaken, disbelieving or condescending of those whom “I am going to help restore to a positive mental attitude”. This was a very challenging and emotional experience.  I became “aligned with the cosmos…feet firmly planted on the ground and my head reaching to the heavens.”.  Sounds very Hippie’ish, for those who are old enough!  Now, it all makes sense.  Once I became aware of my total being (the sum total of my life’s experiences) I could accept my “self” without shame or embarrassment….as long as I was traveling on a path to see His face! 

This week I have learned that if my past could not be accepted by me in my present, then my Elohim could not accept me either.  Yahshua said, go and sin no more. And I also read that He would blot out our sins….as soon as we repent and go and sin no more.  Heavenly Father, I am striving for the ability to stop focusing on me, and focus only on You.  BHC, as I just wrote that, I realize I haven’t gotten very far.  Look at the trail of content this blog has followed. Goes back to the early blogs: Must take the “I” out of “me”.

Psalm 104:33-35 does not say sinners should perish; it says for us to eradicate the sin and Praise YHVH!  Halleluyah!  It also does not say that Yahshua has done all of that for us and we are free to do our own thing.  This is an ongoing endeavor and we must persevere to the end!  No report card until the course is completed! And remember, the teacher doesn't speak while the test is in progress!

Today Rabah. YHVH bless you one and all!

Love,

Pinchas / a/k/a  Frankly Speaking